They continued their discussion as if what was being said wasn’t important.  I knew no one was taking any of it as personally as I was.  It was what always happened, another character trait I was embarrassed to possess.  I stood up from the table quietly and walked toward the door. 

“Where are you going?” Jane asked as I walked past her.

“I just need to leave,” I answered her quietly, “I’ll talk to you later,” I promised her, forcing a smile I didn’t feel to show on my face.  I walked through the doorway and quickly turned into the hall on my left.  As my body turned I felt someone gently grab my wrist.  I closed my eyes, I didn’t want to argue anymore, and I didn’t want to hear him comment under his breath anymore.  I just needed to breathe some fresh air, to be alone.  I turned around prepared to explain that I would be back.  I opened my eyes and was staring into his chest.  I lifted my chin to look at him.  He was so close, and the skin on my wrist where he touched me felt like it was on fire. 

“Please don’t leave because of me,” he said softly, his voice striking a nerve in me that made my knees weak.  I hesitated for one second.  I could tell him everything right now.  I could tell him that I loved him, that I needed him more than I needed to breathe.  I could tell him that every moment of my life was worthless if he wasn’t with me.  I wanted to tell him.  But I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t take the rejection that I was sure would follow.  It hurt too much.  It always hurt too much. 

So I took a painful, ragged breath and replied as evenly as I could, “Not everything in my life is about you.”  Liar!  I stood frozen, waiting for his response.  The nearness of his body to mine was making my own warm and liquid, my legs would not support me here much longer.  I needed to turn and run away.  But his fingers held my wrist and I wasn’t ready for the contact to end. 

He leaned his head closer to mine, his cheek practically touching me as his mouth moved to my ear, “I need it to be,” he whispered. 

I closed my eyes and felt my heart stop.  His fingers trailed from my wrist as he intertwined them with mine.  He rested the palm of his right hand against my cheek while his long fingers rested in my hair behind my ear.  I felt him move. My eyes remained closed, afraid that waking up would mean the end of this dream.  His breath was touching my lips.  It was sweet and warm.  He placed his mouth on mine.  So gently, I wasn’t completely sure it was happening.  His fingers tightened their grip on mine as he began to brush his lips across mine.  I didn’t move.  I couldn’t move.

“Please kiss me,” he whispered against my mouth.  I parted my lips slightly as I took another shallow breath.  I closed my quivering lips around his bottom lip. His hands moved simultaneously gripping my hand tightly, and pressing his fingers into my hair.  I wanted to deepen the kiss.  But fear of rejection fought its way back to me and I pulled back, still unable to open my eyes.  He rested his forehead against mine.  I felt the familiar sting of tears begin as I fought my body to keep breathing.  Don’t open your eyes.  Don’t open your eyes. He moved his hand from my face and buried his fingers in my hair, gently tilting my head up toward him again. 

This time his kiss was confident.  He moved his lips against mine, massaging my mouth with his.  He released my hand and pressed his open palm into my back, molding his body into mine.  I lifted my hands, resting them on his shoulders..............................................................



That's all I have for now.  Maybe the rest will come later.